I say to Erin, Kelly, and Amy as we saunter or rather TAKE OVER the pillow isle in Target on Saturday.
“Ew, the ones that everyone in your family has one time or another puked on?” Kelly mumbles with her face smushed against the Firm pillow in her cart.
“ewwwww!” erin says while reaching for a Chillmax kind.
“Yeah those -“
“OMG My brother invented these pillows!!” Erin yells to us but really the way we are standing, together conversating but not really looking at each other, it appears she’s yelling at the Chillmax.
“He said that he would invent a pillow that kept you cool and call it a [clever name hidden in case he does intend to sell this idea b/c it’s like really good]”
“Omg that’s AWESOME!” Amy and Kelly
“One that whisks the sweat away!” Me
“You mean wick not whisks right Bridgie?” kelly while placing another 4.99 Extra firm in her basket.
“But wait! Kelly look this one can change shapes!” Amy says at the end of the row now strangling a Shapeable pillow. We are all laughing hysterically now b/c of course someone is trying to get by amy in the row and she’s twisting and contorting herself around the pillow like the crocodile hunter.
she drops it suddely and reaches for another
“This one! Feeeeel it! It’s velour plush! You have to get it”
by now we are all on the hunt for another item which kelly can’t seem to name and neither erin nor I can help her out…
“What do you mean?!”
“YOu know you put it on over the pillow but below the pillow case – what is that called”kelly
“Feel it! just rub right here! It’s velour plush! You have to get it” amy
“Does it zipper up the side?” me
“No really erin put your hand on it – it’s so soft! It’s like high class for your face it’s velour plush! you have to get it” amy
“yeah yeah with the zipper! what is that called?” kelly
“It’s a pillow cover – now would you please just feel this!? It’s vel-” amy
“Velour plush” erin me and kelly
“amy – how much is it?” kelly
“i dunno, 17.99 or something. but it’s a deal b/c its velour plush! You have to get it”amy
Kelly dosent even say very much just looks at her – then amy throws the pillow on the tippy top of some other stack of things and proceeds the hunt for the pillow cover.
“Dont you love amy’s hair today?” Kelly
Amy is now posed priming her pony tail that looks like she’s been though a blender – it’s a very messy rendition of little kid who won’t let her mom brush her hair for days look.
“It looked better pre-beating!” amy
“oh yeah i woke her up this morning by jumping on top of her and beating her up with her pillows.” kelly
“here they are – pillow covers!” Erin
We all stare at the rack and pick a differnt one – mine makes noises when you touch it so that’s out. Kelly’s seems like a safe bet – “poly/cotton blend” – but erin insits she should open it. Amy has found the most expensive cover and is making us all rub it.
“It’s Prima Cotton – not as good as the velour pillow but still very nice – here feel it.”
After calculating the costs of buying really nice pillow covers and crappy pillows – Kelly swallows hard and decides that the velour pillow is more cost effective. Amy dances all the way back to the pillow section. By the time we make it to the row the disco has stopped.
“Omg! there’s only this one and king sizes left. Buy one of each.” And now we all laugh because the whole reason for this trip into the science of slumber has to do with kelly’s irrational compulsion for exact matching pillows.
On the check out line Erin buys Chocolate gum which all of us make fun of but try willingly. It is so bad we cry with laughter! especially when i can’t stop saying “I just want to swallow it – i like have no gag reflex to stop it!” in the parking lot to anyone passing by. Amy is laughing so hard she’s stumbling like a drunk and erin is still trying to blow a brown bubble. we all spit them out (looking like we ate rabbit turds) and say our goodbyes before retreating to our cars.
i miss George’s Northern Orchard times!